And How to Finally Stop Running After Love That Won’t Love Back
If you always feel like you’re chasing someone who never fully chooses you back, you’re not alone.
I remember the exact moment it began. We were washing dishes. He held the towel, eyes distant, and said, “I’m not sure I can do this.” He kept drying the same dish over and over.
And I ignored it. Because I thought I needed him. I took the plate, gave him another one, and pretended my world hadn’t just cracked.
I convinced myself he could do this. That he would. That our love deserved one more shot.
And for a while, we kept going.
There were still dinners, daily texts, and just enough closeness to keep hope alive. But the truth? He had already left. Emotionally, he was gone. And I didn’t want to see it.
The Pattern Beneath the Pain
Sound familiar?
So many smart, capable, self-aware women fall into the same heartbreaking pattern:
- You chase. He retreats.
- You try harder. He pulls further away.
Because deep down, there’s a belief that if you just love him better, harder, more purely… he’ll finally choose you back.
You confuse effort with worth. You think loyalty means convincing someone to stay.
But that’s not love. That’s anxiety dressed up as devotion.
Why You Chase (Even When You Know You Shouldn’t)
You might be chasing because:
- You fear abandonment more than emotional exhaustion
- You mistake breadcrumbs for real connection
- You were taught that love must be earned
- You believe walking away means you’ve failed
But the truth is: chasing someone who has already checked out is the fastest way to lose yourself.
You stop trusting your gut. You second-guess your needs. You dim your light, hoping it makes you easier to love.
None of it brings him closer. It only distances you from yourself.
How to Stop Chasing and Start Choosing You
This isn’t about him. It’s about you.
Ask yourself:
- What kind of love do I really want?
- What does it feel like to be met, emotionally and consistently?
- Where have I betrayed myself in order to be chosen?
Real love doesn’t require you to beg.
The right partner doesn’t need to be convinced of your value.
You’re Allowed to Want More
If this hits hard—if you feel a lump in your throat or tears in your eyes—that’s not weakness.
That’s your soul saying: Enough.
Enough chasing. Enough shrinking. Enough settling for half-hearted love.
You deserve a relationship where you are not always reaching across the gap, begging to be chosen.
And it starts when you choose yourself.
Today. Right now.
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/if-you-want-a-healthy-relationship-value-yourself/
